Toradora! Light Novel: Volume 5 by Yuyuko Takemiya

Author:Yuyuko Takemiya [Takemiya, Yuyuko]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Seven Seas
Published: 2019-05-13T16:00:00+00:00

***

Those who didn’t know Ryuuji would call him a delinquent, or a thug, or a criminal with a record.

Those who knew Ryuuji well would say he was a kindhearted guy. They’d say that he was nice and scrupulous and like a mom, which was strange for a high school student.

He was probably born with that personality. There was also the argument that he had become that way because he was raised by that laid-back scatterbrain Yasuko. As soon as he became self-aware of the world, he took on the role of son-slash-full-time-housewife-slash-Yasuko’s-guardian. He had to be better and more self-reliant than other kids. He had to hold back any childish indulgences and discontent, and take things in stride.

In other words, Yasuko had brought Ryuuji up so he became a kid who would keep his complaints to himself, and go through the days taking things for what they were. Ryuuji had to face any day-to-day situation with a heart as flexible as a willow tree. If he didn’t, the Takasu household and the two’s somewhat vague parental relationship wouldn’t exist as peacefully as it did now.

The gangster face Ryuuji had inherited from his old man through some twist of fate had also spurred on his gentle personality. That was a fact.

Even if he didn’t do anything, people would get it into their head that Ryuuji was exactly what he looked like—a violent hooligan. They’d get scared and nervous, and then they’d say terrible things about him. Believing they were justified, people would exclude Ryuuji from their circles. After encountering that time and time again, Ryuuji came upon a realization. He realized that he had to be kinder and more honest than others. No matter what happened, he couldn’t blame others, and he couldn’t sulk. If he lived as straightforwardly as he could, someone would eventually understand. Those people would become his friends. As long as he had friends that understood, they would help him if something happened. Ryuuji really was a good person and, no matter what happened, they would know that.

So until that day, Ryuuji knew that no matter what happened, in the end, he would be the one to suffer the most from showing his anger or frustration. He did his best not to show those emotions on his face. At least, he hadn’t until now.

“I wanna die.”

Is this my punishment?

Feeling like Thanatos, he sat in the fifty-centimeter gap between the juice vending machines on the landing of the vacant staircase. He held six ice-cold coffees in his hands. Incidentally, the temperature at that moment couldn’t have been higher than ten degrees Celsius. His fingers felt like they were being torn to pieces from holding the cold aluminum.

In the midst of his frustration, Ryuuji had done the one thing he shouldn’t have. He kicked one of the faultless vending machines as hard as he could. The name of the move: venting his anger. The results: a dent in the vending machine’s frame and cold coffees scattered at Ryuuji’s feet as though the machine had thrown them up.

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